My name is Beth Rutledge. Today is my birthday. I am fifty-one years old. My mother will tell you I have been having a midlife crisis. My best friend will tell you I am courageous. My husband will tell you that, on my last birthday and for just a little while, I lost my mind.
That was the start of my story the year I turned fifty. That was the year I lost my mind. At least it seemed that way, even to me. So many women have told me they've shared my experience of confusion and questioning about their own lives around that age. How can you be happy and fulfilled and still feel that something's missing? It didn't make sense. My way of dealing with the question may seem impulsive or foolish to some. To others, it was a brave and bold move. Well, you'd have to judge that for yourself.
I still thank God for my loving family and my very, very understanding husband, David. Now that could have gone either way. I can't begin to tell you how scary that year was at times, how much I risked to answer that nagging question of what was missing in my life.
I will tell you this: Sometimes you have to lose something in order to reclaim it. Sometimes you have to trust the love that holds the seams of your life together and stretch it to a new limit. Sometimes you just have to lose your mind… and follow your heart.